I did not wait until my first year of motherhood was here to learn. Instead, I found myself researching everything that awaited me and picking up every parenting book I came across during my visits to the clinic.
Not only that, but I could ask as many questions as I wanted during those clinic visits.
Do you think that I was well prepared? Maybe, but more or less.
I would say that for some things in life you need the experience to know how they are!
Now it’s been a year and a half since I got my beautiful Synnøve, and I can tell you that it’s been a journey.
A lot had happened in that first year before she learned to say goodbye and hi.
I have smiled, cried, and felt helpless at times.
Please note, I’m in no way saying it was the worst, but I’m keeping it real by saying there were times when it felt like the most extended year ever!
All in all, I enjoyed and carried with me every single moment we had that year.
That being said, there are a few things I learned that I want to share with you. Hopefully, they can inspire some new moms out there.
lessons learned during the first year of motherhood
Note: I’m by no means saying I have seen it all, but remember that every trip is an experience. Whether a day, a month, or even a year.
You are the best mother for your child
It often happens that we “prepare” for something, thinking it will be easy and perfect.
But when it comes to motherhood, I can attest that this isn’t the case.
Babies are different, homes are other, and cultures can be different too.
You may want to parent the way you read about it somewhere, but you find that very difficult, which frustrates you in the end.
Dear Mom, take it easy and do yourself. I’ll repeat it: as long as you do not leave your baby hungry or relatively unsupervised, you are doing very well. You are the best mother for your child.
It takes time
No one was born knowing how to do anything.
We all have a path of learning, practicing, and getting better ahead of us.
Therefore, anything you struggle with at the beginning of your new lifestyle is just a matter of time, and you’ll get used to it over time.
Learn what to accept and what to ignore
People love to give advice. And there’s nothing wrong with that (I do too).
But, on the other hand, ask yourself, is this helping me, or is it just making me feel like a bad mom.
I always say there’s nothing worse than leaving a new mom feeling bad and feeling like she’s not doing the right thing.
I have been there, too. I ran into another mom when my daughter was just five months old, and she pressured me to let my baby sleep in her bed and let her put herself to sleep. Sad enough that I had to cut ties and say BYE FOREVER.
I love learning and hearing about others’ experiences, but it depends on how we give that advice.
Pay attention to the tone of voice and the words that are said during the advice.
I do not know if it’s just me, but I’m a real believer in the baby being fussy, put them down (either snuggle or sing a lullaby) and help them fall asleep, but do not say “they’ll cry until they fall asleep.”
So, I’d say it’s up to you to understand which advice will hurt you or help you walk the beautiful journey of motherhood.
A baby changes the relationship
We may have all heard that couples fight a lot after having a baby.
I wouldn’t necessarily use the word “fight,” but the fact is that things change.
Remember that you now have a new person and responsibilities that we as mothers pay attention to, and sometimes we forget that our partners need us too.
In such a situation, you’ll find that there will be some conflicts during the first year of motherhood as you try to adjust and find a balance.
But with a little effort, anything is possible. Take time for each other, communicate with each other, and try to understand each other.
You’ll find that the few minutes you spend cuddling with your partner or doing something else together while the baby is sleeping make a difference.
These were just a few points I learned in my first year of motherhood. I hope you enjoyed reading and found them helpful.
Do you have anything to add or anything you learned as well? Just leave a comment below.