I know I have shared many lessons that I’ve learned during motherhood, but that’s not all. After all, we experience and learn everything every day! So today, we will talk about six more things I wish I knew before I became a mom.
To get it out of the way right off the bat: I LOVE BEING A MOM, so don’t let what you read here make you think otherwise (wink, wink).
When I found out I would be a mother, I was inquisitive and prepared myself intensely, but again, there was a lot I did not know.
So I have put together a few things to share with you today. First, I hope they help all the new moms and moms-to-be out there understand that they are not alone in this journey. “I am with you, dear mother.”
Here we go!
Things I wish I knew before I became a mom
Self-love is important
True self-love is standing up for yourself, even when you feel unlovable or shameful. It consists of listening to yourself and figuring out what has caused you not to respect or recognize your needs or boundaries.
But when it comes to motherhood, this is not the case. The reason is that the new lifestyle brings a lot with it.
For example, right after I gave birth, I got a lot of acne on my face, which got me down. I did not want to look at my pictures or participate in photography anymore.
Postpartum acne: Causes and treatments that work (Article by Healthline)
It was a little symbol that I didn’t love the person I am. And let me tell you, that’s a recipe for disaster.
Do you feel the same way, Mother, feeling down about physical changes? Or do you have too many responsibilities that might take away from your self-care time? Well, that’s normal. But don’t let it affect you negatively.
Be grateful that you have your little ones. Take the time you need to do what makes you happy or lifts your spirits, and enjoy being a mom because it’s sweet no matter what.
Everyone's birth story isn't the same, and it is really hard to plan
Here you may be planning a cesarean or a normal birth or anything else you want, but it ends differently.
For example, I thought it would be a little slower for me because I have always heard that labor lasts at least 8 hours, but that was not the case.
It lasted about 5 hours, and I had my daughter in my arms. Also, I had imagined that I would not be in much pain since I had already asked for an epidural. But holy mother of God! After I got it, it did not take 5 minutes for someone to be ready to see the world. So it more or less did not help.
Even if it made me feel helpless or not in control of the whole process, it still taught me that there is little we can control in this life.
Infants don't need plenty of clothes
I can still remember the excitement that couldn’t stop me from browsing those online baby stores. I tried to get anything that I thought would look good on my unborn baby as often as possible.
Little did I know that she would grow out of some things before wearing them.
She wore aprons in her first few months because it was still winter. And when summer came, many things didn’t fit her anymore.
Plus, the pandemic came, and that summer, we were home more. And again, we spent our time only in bodysuits.
So I would pass this tip on to a mom-to-be, please buy what you know they will use. If you purchase clothes for specific occasions, you may be wasting some coins because they may not fit on that ‘special day.’
At times, routines may not work ( and it's ok)
Still, I can’t forget to talk about the routines of things I learned before becoming a mom.
Routine: it’s one of the trendy words, just like self-care. And since I’m a person who likes routines and planning, I’ll also be honest and say that sometimes they don’t work! Especially when you have a young child.
Remember when you planned to get up early to do laundry, and your baby happened to get up before you, and all you had to do was try to get them to sleep? The day you planned to scrub the bathroom while they were sleeping, but they happened to get up right after you put on those gloves? So that’s what I’m talking about!
I have had days like that too, and I try not to be mad or complain about what I can’t do.
I always tell myself to make a schedule and leave room for spontaneity.
It's not that easy
Honestly, I can’t say parenting is easy. There’ll be times when you’ll be exhausted and even frustrated.
But remember: that doesn’t make you a bad mom. Instead, pat yourself on the back and keep up the excellent work.
Babies can change relationships
At this point, I have been asked by many of my friends,” do you guys often fight now that you have a baby?”
I’ll answer it now. We don’t fight physically, but we’ve had arguments here and there that didn’t exist before our daughter was born.
For example, it could be about how your baby should be held, and your partner thinks their way is right. So it could be that you feel like you do not have time for each other anymore.
Things like this have affected our relationship, and even today, we fight hard to keep them from breaking us.
Instead, here’s what we do to prevent it:
-Not criticize each other’s parenting style.
– Communicate and agree on the way we do things.
Did you find this little piece I have learned since becoming a mom inspiring? Feel free to share it with your community as well.
Read more: A letter to my daughter